Following on from last weeks post on the shadow I’ve been decided this week to write about the struggle.

The theme for this week came to me when I was asked by wife if everything was ok.

I felt ok but didn’t have my usual spark about me.

Outwardly I’ve been carrying on ‘as normal’, whatever that means.

Yes, I’ve adapted to not working (in the main) and shifting my attention to homeschooling (again in the main).

But, inwardly I’ve been struggling.

When I paused and reflected, I realised I’d not been working within my usual purpose.


I see my purpose as;

being able to listen to others and help them (if I can)

As a coach and facilitator, I do this all the time.

My work provides me with opportunities to encourage, enable or empower others.

I take great joy from meeting and connecting with people and I’ve stopped doing this.

Without realising that my struggle has been slowly creeping up on me.

To struggle…

The definition I’m drawn to is;

make one’s way with difficulty

Like me, you may have adapted to your circumstances and surroundings at this time.

I’m fortunate to be well, in terms of my health and well-being.

I’ve enjoyed the challenge of trying to teach our daughter Jess (5), whilst spending more time with my eldest children Alex (11) and Becky (15).

In my work though, it has felt that I’ve been moving through time with some difficulty.


At times like this and in times of struggle I think we need hope.

There is perhaps more hope and it’s never that far away.

Three things this week that have given me hope.

  1. An event where Michael Byrne shared his unbelievable story and how he’s turned things around in his life.
  2. An event involving Ian Braid, one of the many inspirational contributors to the book: Big Boys Don’t Cry
  3. A reminder of my conversation with Kate Richardson-Walsh, who openly shared her feelings of not being good enough and being openly critical of herself.

I’m learning that it’s ok to struggle. I’m learning that it’s ok to talk up and share your struggle.

Stay safe, big love x

*Note to self is a collection of thoughts that I’m sharing during this time to help me make sense of now.*